How to respond

“Be curious, not judgmental.” -Walt Whitman  

We all see the world through the lenses of our beliefs, experiences, and personality. This often causes us to rush to judgment when we encounter a situation, including behavior. We often label or judge behavior as bad, disrespectful, disruptive, or unacceptable. 

All behavior is communication.  When we see "mis"behavior, this is a person communicating through their behavior that is a need not being met.  Many people, especially kids, have difficulty verbalizing their needs so the only way that we will know that their needs are not being met is through observing behavior.  

Knowing that misbehavior results from a lack of one or more of these needs being met, we can respond with compassion. If any one of these needs is not being met, we can address it. It’s when more than one of those needs are not being met that it gets difficult and we see very challenging behavior. 

Teach students how to manage feelings through Social Emotional Learning (SEL). Create an environment in which students needs are being met just as you create situations in which kids learn skills. This is what love is.